Taka pushed the wood-framed door open silently and paused. Inside the room, Miaka, his love, his heart, lay unconscious from the last enemy attack. A man, whose face was identical to his own, hovered by her bedside, holding her hand gently, mutely pleading for her to awaken.

Tamahome. A name he had heard more frequently than he cared to think about. A man whose memories he had held until they had been stolen from him. The man he used to be... or so he had been told. But now, it was obvious that he couldn't possibly be Tamahome. Not when the man was sitting there in front of him. They shared the same build, the same face, the same friends, and a deep love for the woman lying in the bed in front of them. Miaka.

Taka's heart ached. Now that Tamahome, the real Tamahome was here, there was no need for him anymore. An empty shell. That's all he was. The shadow of a great Suzaku seishi. Someone to take Tamahome's place with Miaka and the others until the real one had awakened from his divinely imposed slumber. And now that the warrior had returned, it was time for him to go. To leave her. Even though it broke his heart.

Half of him raged in anger. How DARE the gods play with him like this? He was a human being! With feelings and emotions. Suzaku had just ripped him out of his life, forced him in the midst of this absurd situation and made him fall in love, only to wrench everything he had fought for away from him. It wasn't FAIR! He had more of a right to life than these people who were only characters in a book!

THAT thought halted him right there. Recent memories replayed through his mind- Hotohori, who'd died saving his country and never had the chance to hold his son in real life; Tasuki, who'd near committed suicide at the thought of betraying his dearest friends; Chichiri, who'd lived such a painful life and still managed to be their rock when everything went to hell. The others, Nuriko, Mitsukake, Chiriko; while he no longer had first hand memories of them, he knew of their heroic sacrifices to protect them all.

More right to live? No. They were far more honorable than he and thus deserved far more. He had only been a vessel after all. A shadow. He'd never done anything great or important. He was just... Taka.

'Suzaku-seikun, please let me be strong,' he prayed, shutting his eyes against the tears that threatened to spill. 'Grant me the strength to do what's right. For her.'

He took a deep breath and stepped into the room. "How is she?" he asked softly.

The other man smiled. "She's fine. She's sleeping."

Taka nodded in relief. "I... I'm going back home. To that world," he said after a moment.

Tamahome faced him in surprise. "What?"

"Now that you're back, there's no need for me to be here any longer. There's no need to look for the stones..."

"Are you sure?"

Instead of answering, Taka took the ring, his and Miaka's wedding ring off his finger. 'Steady, man. You can do this. You HAVE to do this...' He studied the ring, already missing its familiar presence. With trembling hands, he blindly offered the prize in the direction of the bed. "This... this belongs to you."

Tamahome's eyes widened. " This... is from the wedding ceremony with Miaka before the fight with Nakago... Thank Suzaku!! I was looking all over for that!" he exclaimed. "Are you sure?" he asked again.

Before his tears fell, Taka nodded and turned abruptly to leave the room. He was halfway out the door when a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Thank you." He heard the other man say behind his back. "Thank you for being with Miaka in my place."

"You're... welcome." Taka choked without turning his head. He felt the pressure on his shoulder disappear and continued out the door at a fast walk. And didn't look back.

Hurriedly, before he could change his mind, he headed to Tasuki's room and picked up Miaka's beeper. The gadget glowed with a faint reddish light. It was time to go.

"Taka! What do you think you're doing?"

Taka spun around. Before him stood the six remaining Suzaku seishi, on their faces a mixture of shock and confusion.

Taka laughed nervously. "I'm going home..."

Hotohori advanced slowly. "Without Miaka? Have you lost your wits completely?"

"I... I was only a shadow, remember? Now that the real Tamahome is here, he and Miaka can call Suzaku. Then everyone will be reborn!"

The seishi remained unconvinced.

"So... you just plan on disappearing alone?" Nuriko countered. "You're just going to run away from him?"

"It's better this way... I'm... not the man you thought I was."

Hotohori's eyes widened in shocked surprise. "Were you not the one who allowed me to hold Boushin?"

"That's right!" Nuriko broke in. "Wasn't it YOU who endured pain to the point of pushing aside my superhuman strength? Just so you could be with her?"

"You... you risked your life along with Tasuki to save me..." Chichiri added.

Tasuki, who had frozen at the initial realization of what Taka was doing, broke out of his daze. "Wasn't... wasn't it you..."

Taka met his gaze sadly, his eyes pleading with him not to continue. 'Don't, Tasuki,' he begged silently, 'don't make this any harder than it already is.'

"It was... you..."

'Don't...'

Suddenly Tasuki's eyes widened and he faced Taka accusingly. "It was you! You believed in me... and cried when you saved me!"

Taka dropped his head in a mixture of shame and remorse. Tasuki advanced and shook his friend's shoulders violently.

"What happened? Didn't you say that your feelings for Miaka would never change?"

Gently, Taka broke away and stepped back, head still down.

"Taka, I believe you are the real Tamahome! The symbol... the power... they don't matter!" Chiriko whimpered.

Raising his head, Taka gazed at his friends one last time. "Take care, everyone," he whispered, "and thank you... for everything..."

A familiar red light surrounded him and bathed him in its warmth. Tasuki reached for him. "Tama..."

"Wo ai ni..."

Tasuki broke into a run. "Don't go!"

It was too late. The red mist cleared, taking Taka with it. The flame-haired bandit collapsed to the ground and raised his voice to the sky. "TAMAHOME!"

~*~*~*~*~

Taka materialized in Keisuke's room, his heart already regretting what he had just done. 'It's for the best,' he repeated over and over, 'I was never meant to be with them...'

Pushing himself up from the floor, he silently surveyed his surroundings. 'I should get home before their Mom gets here... wait a minute...' he smacked his forehead and chuckled derisively, 'I don't HAVE a home! It was destroyed by that guy trying to be a god who's really a fictional character and who's not supposed to even exist in the first place! Ha ha ha!'

This was good. He was really losing it. In fact, the entire situation was making him nearly hysterical. Whether from grief, or pain, or joy... it didn't really matter anymore. Nothing mattered now that he had left her. His mock revelry carried him to the full-length mirror on one side of the room. He gazed at the mirror, shocked for a moment, then released one last chuckle before collapsing against the cool glass in despair.

"You're so pathetic, you don't even deserve to have a reflection," he addressed the transparent space in the mirror that should have held his image.

It came without warning. Taka's head snapped up and saw his face in the mirror... but it was not his face. It was Tamahome's. He flinched back automatically but found out his hands were glued to the mirror. He was trapped.

"You're so stupid, Taka," his "twin" mocked. "Whatever possessed you to go back?"

For the first time since his return, Taka wondered if he had made a horrible mistake. "Who are you?"

The figure in the mirror laughed derisively. "You still don't get it, do you? I hold the memories and powers of your previous self. I got them from something the present you lost..."

Taka's eyes widened. 'The stones...' With an anguished cry he faced the apparition. "You BASTARD!"

It chuckled back at him. "Such a way to speak to yourself... Those stones are in me now. That makes you the fake!"

"NOOOO!!"

Behind them, the door to the bedroom opened and closed. "Taka?"

In the mirror, Tamahome grinned. "Ah, Keisuke. It's been a while..."

Keisuke gazed at the apparition wide-eyed. "T-tamahome?"

"Surprised to see me? Oh, by the way, Miaka's here with me now. I don't think she's coming back..."

"Damn you!" Taka screamed, struggling against the mirror.

Tamahome laughed again. "It's too late for that. So long Taka!"

With a flash, the mirror cracked and he was gone, taking with him the invisible bonds holding Taka. He slumped to the floor, blood dripping freely from random cuts all over his body caused by the glass shards.

Keisuke hurried to his side. "What happened? Why did Tamahome break my mirror?"

Taka shook his head. That was the least of his problems. "Keisuke, I have to find a way back... to warn them. Miaka's in danger!" He took out the pager and jabbed at it furiously. "Dammit, it's not working! I've got to get to her!"

~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile back in Konan, Miaka was waking up. The first thing she saw was Tamahome's worried face hovering closely above her. She smiled at first, reaching a hand out to touch her beloved's face, but then stopped. There was something different about him. She couldn't place exactly what it was. He looked the same, sounded the same, even smelled the same... but there was something missing...

Suddenly, Miaka shot up. "Taka! Where is he?" Panic rising, she tried to force her way past Tamahome.

"Shh," he soothed, gathering her into his arms. "He's okay. He said he was going back."

Her eyes widened with fear. "Nani?!?!"

She pulled away and searched her former lover's eyes. "No, he wouldn't have! He wouldn't have left without me!"

Tearing away, she jumped off the bed and ran outside calling Taka's name. "Taka! Where are you?! TAKA!!"

Before she could get very far, a strong hand grabbed her arm sharply causing her to cry out in pain. His quarry captured, Tamahome forced her back into the room, using his body to shield her escape. Miaka stared at him wildly, one arm held up between them as if to ward him off.

"Miaka! Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked brokenly. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

Miaka blinked. Why was she so afraid? This was Tamahome. Her true love. The one she had yearned for all those months and now he was standing before her. What was wrong?

Tama noticed her expression become more reflective and pressed his advantage. "Taka left when he realized he was just a shadow. He even left me this." Smiling softly, he held out his hand, showing her the ring.

Miaka's eyes widened.

"I tried to stop him, he continued, "but he was adamant." He gazed at her tear-streaked face. "Should I have woken you?"

No response.

"Miaka?" Concerned, Tamahome took her hand and led her to the bed. "Look... for now lie down and relax. I'll stay with you."

Miaka allowed herself to be led to the bed. She gazed at his worried face once more, searching. 'I see... this man... Tamahome... the warrior from the book, "The Universe of the Four Gods," the man I loved. After I asked Suzaku... I believed that he was reborn to my world... but... then... what about Taka? His heart... his existence...'

Tamahome studied her features, her emotions plainly warring on her sweet face. He sat next to her and gathered her in his arms. "I understand how you feel but I'M here now. You don't need him anymore. I'M the one who loves you."

She didn't answer so he tried another tactic. "Suzaku-seikun said he should be able to regain his powers after you and I are linked. Once he has, he should be able to seal Tenkou and everyone will be happy." Gently, he placed a hand under her chin, drawing her face to his. "WE can be happy..."

Finally, a spark flashed in her eyes. "Y-you're right."

Tamahome smiled and inched closer. "Wo ai ni, Miaka."

Their lips met.

~*~*~*~*~

"Dammit, Keisuke! I HAVE to get back there! They're all in danger! And Miaka... Miaka..." The mention of his love brought Taka to tears. 'I WILL return for you Miaka,' he vowed silently. 'No matter what, I'll find a way to rescue you.'

"I'm sure Miaka will know he's a fake," Keisuke soothed. "You guys were..." he coughed, uncomfortable with the thought of his sister being with anyone. He turned away and picked up the phone to call Tetsuya.

Taka paced the room, oblivious to the blond's discomfort. "That's not the thing. When I was reborn into this world, my memories as Tamahome were sealed into seven crystals and given to each of the seishi. In order to defeat Tenkou, I have to gather them all and get my memories back. But after we had gotten five, Tenkou stole them and, my best guess is infused them into another one of his demons who's now parading around as me!" He faced Keisuke, eyes misting over again. "In a sense, he's more 'me' than I am... but... but Miaka has to be with ME!"

Keisuke set the phone back on the receiver and faced his frantic friend. "Tetsuya said he'd drive over here with Yui-chan right away." At Taka's tearful nod, he began gathering their things. "We have to get you out of here before my mom comes home."

Taka nodded again. "Gomen, Keisuke... for always being a nuisance..."

Keisuke stopped in his tracks and studied the other man. A few stray tears still crept down Taka's cheeks, mingling with the blood from various cuts on his face. With his torn clothing and mussed appearance, he really looked like he'd been through the wars. His eyes held all of hell in them, their dark depths burning with worry and frustration for his lover and friends, and an intense, deep hatred for their enemy. At that moment, any doubts as to how deeply Taka felt towards the seishi and his sister vanished and Keisuke vowed to support him as much as he could.

"Iie, Taka," he began, "I'm the one who should be sorry. For doubting you the other day."

Taka met his eyes squarely, that small private fear that Keisuke still hated him dissipating as he stared into the other man's face. "Arigato, Keisuke."

The blond nodded and flashed him a smile. "Come on. Let's go!"

The two ran downstairs just as Tetsuya pulled up.

"Tetsuya!" Taka called as he jumped into the car. "Can we stop by my apartment?" Keisuke looked at him incredulously. "What for? The place is a smoking ruins. There's nothing left. You've already been listed as a missing person."

Taka blinked. "I-I just thought my beeper might be there... without it..." He buried his head in his hands.

"Miaka can't come back?" Yui finished, tears forming in her eyes. Taka nodded, still facing the floor.

"That's not good," Tetsuya mused. "Without the power of you and her, Tenkou can't be sealed."

Keisuke was near tears himself with frustration. "Isn't there anything else we can do?" He looked away so the others couldn't see his expression. "Please," he prayed, sending his gaze to the sky, "somebody..."

The car door opened and closed. Keisuke looked up to see Taka walking purposefully away from the car. "The poor guy's lost it..." Two more slams and Yui and Tetsuya wwere out of the car following at his heels. Dabbing his moist eyes, Keisuke got out and hurried after them.

Yui caught up to the him first. "What are you doing?"

Taka slowly turned around to face them. Fierce determination burned in his eyes and his mouth was set in a grim line. "I'm going to call her back."

~*~*~*~*~

"Look, Miaka," Tamahome murmured as he settled in next to her on the bed. "We can start over after Tenkou is defeated. Chichiri and Tasuki are here... and the others will be reborn as well. And besides," his voice grew husky as he pressed against her, "didn't I promise you the night of the star-watching festival that I'd make you the happiest bride in the world?"

Without waiting for her answer, he bent his dark head over hers and captured her lips.

Miaka closed her eyes, responding automatically to the feel of the man she loved beside her. Somewhere, deep in the depths of her mind, lingered the nagging feeling that something was wrong. That voice was, however, quickly silenced as she felt Tamahome's warmth surround her. She relaxed, savoring the moment.

~ Miaka! ~

Her eyes flew open, her lips mouthing his name even as Tamahome was kissing her. "Taka..."

Tamahome jerked himself up, eyes blazing. "What?"

"It's Taka..." Miaka was staring past him, eyes unfocused, seeing other places, other times, "You know, it took almost a month before I could unmistakably call him 'Taka' instead of 'Tamahome...'"

"What?!"

She continued, oblivious to his torment. "Taka was certainly different here and there from Tamahome but..."

Desperate, Tamahome grabbed her arms, pinning her to the bed. "Stop this! He no longer has anything to do with you!!"

The call came again.

~ Miaka!! ~

She continued to see past him, face lighting up at her memories. "He always smiled for me... big and wide. And he was always... looking at me!"

Tamahome shook her hard. "He can't DO anything anymore! I'M the one you love! LOOK at me!"

Finally, Miaka's eyes focused on his frantic face. "No, you're... different..."

"HOW?"

"I don't know!" she wailed, bursting into tears. "But he's the one I need now!" she squirmed, freeing herself from his confining grip.

Lost, Tamahome could only stare at her with wide, disbelieving eyes. Hot tears pooled underneath his eyelids as he watched the woman he loved tear away from him.

~ Miaka!!! ~

"He's calling!" she cried, shutting her eyes and throwing her face heavenwards. "I HAVE to go back! Taka!!"

~*~*~*~*~

"MIAKA! Come!"

Overhead, the sky was roiling an angry red. The winds picked up and shrieked through the trees as a faint rumble of thunder boomed in the distance. Yui, Tetsuya, and Keisuke shrank back in fear.

Taka, his face pointed to the sky, stood his ground; eyes and fists clenched shut as he concentrated on his beloved. "MIAKA!!"

A vision of a swirling phoenix... then, finally, the sound he was waiting for.

"TAKA!!"

Her sweet voice came from everywhere and nowhere at once, echoing through the sky and through his very bones. Taka's eyes flew open.

Like a bird winging home, Miaka materialized from the roiling clouds and fell into his waiting arms. Taka enclosed her in his embrace, his tears mingling with hers.

Dimly he heard their surprised gasps as Yui, Tetsuya, and Keisuke surrounded them, forming a protective circle around the couple. He raised his head briefly, meeting their ecstatic eyes in turn, before turning back to his beloved.

"Wo ai ni, Miaka," he murmured over and over as she sobbed his name. "I promise I'll never let you go again."

Author's Notes: This was originally set to "Run to the Water" by Live. Sometime during the course of writing the fic, I decided to take the lyrics out, they probably wouldn't have made sense to anyone but me anyway, and write this as close to the manga as possible. I did re-arrange a few events, omit some lines and scenes, and add a few things, you know how I like doing that ^_~ but I tried to capture the proceedings as best I could. Hope you guys enjoyed it! Comments, feedback and flames ONEGAI- tsukinouta@yahoo.com

Huge hugs to Quicksilver, Lyra, & Ari who proofed this for me; and to Tasuki no Miko who graciously let me use her manga translations as a reference for this fic. Visit her site at: http://www.crosswinds.net/~tasukinomiko/Anime/FY/

Disclaimer: All original materials belong to their respective owners. Fushigi Yuugi belongs to Watase Yuu and a bunch of big companies. No copyright infringement is intended. The story is mine and I would appreciate you emailing me for permission before posting it anywhere else.

Copyright © June 26, 2000 by Moonsong. All Rights Reserved.