He opened the door to his rather shabby home and locked it behind him with a sigh. The ginger cat, perched on his shoulder, jumped down and mewled comfortingly, nuzzling his master's legs. Absentmindedly, the tall man reached down to pet him then walked over to the sink to wash his face.

After a few moments, he looked up and studied the water-scarred reflection in the mirror. Crystal droplets dripped down the strong bridge of his nose, reflecting light into his shadowed eyes. He was what one might have considered "handsome" if not for the unkempt beard marring his chiseled features.

Something white on the makeshift shelf behind him caught his eye.

It's sitting by the overcoat
The second shelf the note she wrote
That I can't bring myself to throw away

Almost unwillingly, his eyes strayed towards the object, half- hidden by an unwashed shirt, a few scrolls, and some other various items he had absentmindedly tossed up there. He shut his eyes slowly, a reaction to pain more mental than it was physical; a knife lodged in his heart.

His hands, seemingly of their own volition, reached for the note and plucked it from the shelf. He stared at it a moment... but managed to exert enough self-control not to open it. The last time he did... well, he didn't want to think about it now. With another deep sigh, he pocketed the note and made his way across the room.

It was the last thing she had given him... before she passed away. He had actually arrived too late to see her and a villager had given it to him. He remembered the man's eyes... one look at them and he'd known something was wrong.

I'm sorry 'bout the attitude
I need to give when I'm with you
But no one else would take this sh*t from me

"Myo-sensei, I'm sorry... she wanted you to have this..."

His eyes widened as the man held a folded piece of paper out to him.

"Nani?"

The man bowed. "It's good you came back, Myo-san. You can still save the rest of the village..."

But he could only blink, holding the note in his hand as if it were a poisonous snake. She wanted you to have this... save the rest of the village... what in the world was this addle-brained idiot talking about? Surely, he couldn't mean...

Then full realization hit. He dropped the note in shock, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Iie..."

At his reaction, the man raised his head, his eyes speaking the truth the healer didn't want to hear.

"IIIEEEEEEEE!!!!"

What good was his power... if she was already gone? What good was anything? He crumpled to the ground, his heart feeling as if it would burst.

The man knelt beside him, urging him to his feet. "Myo-san, the village... you have to help them..."

And I'm so
Terrified of no one else but me
I'm here all the time
I won't go away

A derisive chuckle erupted from his tightening throat as the memory flitted away.

The town hero. What a laugh. Just because he was a Suzaku Seishi he was supposed to save the village? A mark on his hand made him a warrior with gifts and abilities to protect the people and the land? He was supposed to be.

It's me, yeah I can't get myself to go away
It's me, and I can't get myself to go away
Oh God I shouldn't feel this way

"Neesaaaan!!"

The little boy launched himself into his sister's arms, tears pouring down his small face.

The older girl hugged him and settled him in her lap. "What's the matter, Ju-chan?"

He held out his hand. Faint red slashes marked his palm, looking much as if he had placed his hand on a branding iron.

"I think I hurt myself, neesan! I don't know what happened... I... I don't wanna diieeee!!"

She laughed, not to tease but to comfort. "Oh, otouto, whatever you did, I'm sure the healer can fix you right up. You're not going to die." Smiling, she took his palm and studied it. And almost dropped it again in shock.

"That is the mark of a Suzaku Seishi!" She gasped excitedly, her eyes tracing what was now becoming more of a Chinese symbol on the younger boy's hand.

His eyes widened. "Nani?"

She laughed again, this time, snuggling him happily. "Oh, this is wonderful!"

"But what does it mean?"

She pulled both of them up, straightening her skirt. That happy smile still on her face, she turned to him and took his hand. "It means you are destined to be a great warrior! All the legends have spoken about you!"

"Really?" he asked, his face brightening.

"Oh, Ju-chan, this is so exciting! We have to tell kaasan and tousan!"

The little boy nodded happily. Hai!"

Reach down your hand in your pocket
Pull out some hope for me
It's been a long day, always ain't that right

Warrior... ha! There's a good one.

Despite his large size, he was a gentle man who avoided confrontation, with no natural fighting ability whatsoever. The closest he'd ever gotten into a fight was with that strange girl earlier that day over his cat's dinner.

"Oh, neesan, how could you have been so wrong? I'm not a great man. I'm just... a failure..."

Shaking his head at the memory and he staggered over to collapse on the cot nearby.

Why had he been allowed to live? Why couldn't he have died with them? Twice, he should have died, the first time, in the flood with the rest of his family. The second time, that night when he came back too late to save her. The same night that marked his first attempt on his own life.

And no Lord your hand won't stop it
Just keep you trembling
It's been a long day, always ain't that right

His body shook with suppressed emotion, his eyes clenched shut against bitter tears. He should have succeeded. He should have-

His self-pitying wallow was rudely interrupted by a loud and insistent knock on his door. Annoyed, he cleared his throat, wiping the dampness from his eyes.

"What do you want?" he barked harshly.

The unwelcome visitor hesitated, probably shocked at his gruff reply. After a few hissed whispers, apparently he had more than one person perched on his doorstep, and a voice called out.

"Sumimasen, we're sorry for disturbing you but a dear friend of ours is very ill and they said you were a doctor..."

Well I'm surprised that you'd believe
In any thing that comes from me
I didn't hear from you or from someone else

Myo Juan's eyebrows flew into his hair. It had been ages since anyone had requested his services. After the first few weeks of his seclusion, the townspeople had grown tired of consoling him and had finally let him lick his wounds in peace. That they would have sent these strangers here could only mean that things were very serious indeed.

Sighing, he levered himself up and answered the door. No matter what their cause, how sad their plea, he didn't have to help. Even if he did, knowing his luck, he would probably arrive too late to save their friend anyway. And he didn't think he could stomach another failure. A man can only take so much.

And you're so
Set in life man, a pisser they're waiting
Too damn bad you get so far so fast
So what, so long

The two who greeted him were not what he expected. The first thing he saw was a flame haired youth, probably no older than sixteen, baring his fangs, and hovering protectively over his companion, a slender girl, with violet hair and worried eyes.

Chills ran up and down his spine. He KNEW who these two were. Involuntarily, his body started shivering. He had seen them before... with that other girl in the marketplace. Why hadn't he sensed it then? Maybe he was wrong...

He blinked, trying to deny the realization but the certainty remained. These two were warriors of Suzaku.

Reach down your hand in your pocket
Pull out some hope for me
It's been a long day, always ain't that right

Confronted with the harbingers of fate, his mind reeled. No! He wasn't ready! He couldn't leave yet... they couldn't make him!

Before he knew what he was doing, he had slammed the door in their faces and was leaning against it, trying to catch his breath.

A stunned silence... then the pounding returned.

"Onegai, if you don't help us, we'll have to let Shoka kill her so she can raise her from the dead!"

His heart nearly stopped. Shoka... he froze in shocked silence as her name unlocked the door, unleashing memories suppressed for far too long...

And no Lord your hand won't stop it
Just keep you trembling
It's been a long day, always ain't that right

"Myo-san! The disease has spread to the village southwest of here. You must help them!"

He looked up at the frantic villager, then back down at his beloved. The fever hadn't spread to them yet but it was only a matter of time. He didn't want to leave her.

She sensed his indecision and hastened to comfort him. "They need you more than I do. I'll be fine until you get back."

He shook his head. "Shoka, I..."

She leaned forward and captured his lips with her own, silencing him effectively. His arms wrapped around her, cradling her delicate body against his much larger frame. Her scent, of summer breezes and wildflowers, enveloped him, soothing his raw nerves. The world fell away and all that existed for him was her warmth, her soft lips- which he kissed over and over again, savoring her sweetness. She was his light, his heart, his very life, and he never wanted to let her go. A few breathless minutes later, they parted.

"Go," she whispered, pressing her forehead against his.

"After that?" he teased, heart still racing, eyes twinkling.

Her laughter was beautiful music to his ears. "Baka!" she giggled pushing him away with her small hands. "Now go!"

Chuckling, he grinned at her and started packing his things.

-----
When he had returned, she had been dead. Just like that. One minute, she was teasing him and laughing at him, the next, she was gone. He didn't want to remember those endless days and tortured nights that followed. Eventually, he had sought this refuge and severed his connections with the outside world.

It's me, yeah and I can't get myself to go away
It's me, yeah and I can't get myself to go away
Oh God I shouldn't feel this way

"Shoka..." he whimpered, slumping against the doorframe, the weight of a thousand worlds on his shoulders. "I should have died with you. There's nothing left for me here now..."

The pounding came again, even more insistent this time.

"Myo-san, onegai..."

Then the other voice. "Bah! Nuriko, leave the guy alone. He obviously doesn't want to help."

"But Miaka will DIE if he doesn't come!"

The healer sighed again. No matter what, his life was doomed to failure. He had failed his family, his love, and, if he didn't do something now, his god as well. Part of him didn't care- no longer wanted to. But the other...

Reach down your hand in your pocket
Pull out some hope for me
It's been a long day, always ain't that right

He stared down at his palm, the red symbol responding faintly to the desperate pleas on the other side of the door.

~ It means you are destined to be a great warrior! All the legends have spoken about you! ~

~ They need you more than I do. I'll be fine until you get back. Go. ~

Maybe... it wasn't too late. Maybe this was his chance. A chance to make up for all the wrongs he had done. What was left of his life anyway? How much more suffering would he have to endure? Wouldn't it be better to die a Suzaku Seishi, giving his life for a greater cause if need be, than to rot in this filthy little hovel?

And no Lord your hand won't stop it
Just keep you trembling
It's been a long day, always ain't that right

Suddenly the decision wasn't so difficult after all. Wiping the dampness from his eyes, he stood and faced himself in the mirror again. In his reflection, the same chiseled features, and stubbly beard, but in his eyes... a flicker of hope?

Smiling for the first time in years, Myo Juan picked up his cat and strode confidently to the door. Once he opened it, the bickering stopped. The two seishi looked at him blankly, surprised at his appearance.

"I am ready," he announced steadily. "I will do what I can."

The anxious expression on the smaller one's features melted into relief. "Arigato, Myo-san-"

"Iie."

The purple-haired figure looked up, puzzlement marking delicate features. "Nani?"

The sixth Suzaku seishi held out his hand, giving them full view of the glowing symbol on his palm. They gasped in recognition, eyes widening.

"You're..."

He nodded, feeling something inside his shattered heart healing at last. "I am Mitsukake."