Disclaimer: I didn't create Fushigi Yuugi, and I didn't create most of the characters in this story. I am simply a fan who loves the series enough to be inspired to write a fanfic about it.

This is the first of a series of side stories I have planned for the Summoning Suzaku storyline. It takes place during the events in Chapters 1 and 2. Laurelgand gave me advice for the last scene in this story. Without that advice, it would have been a poor imitation of what it is now.

This is a serious fanfic that contains some scenes that aren't suitable for younger readers. If it was a movie, it would be rated R. It also has spoilers from various episodes. Comments, critiques, & flames are welcome.

Suboshi crept closer to the slightly open door. A floor board creaked softly under his weight, causing him to freeze in dread. He knew that Nakago would punish him harshly for eavesdropping on his conversation - others had died for such an offense. But Suboshi couldn't help himself. He had to hear what Nakago was saying about Yui-sama.

"I don't understand, Nakago-sama. If the miko has to be a virgin, how can Yui-sama be Seiryuu no miko, unless....." Soi said, understanding dawning in her eyes.

"Yui wasn't raped by those street toughs. I killed them before they had the chance to touch her. I choose to allow her to think she was raped because it is easier to manipulate her this way. Yui would never have agreed to become Seiryuu no miko and go to war against her best friend if she didn't feel as though Suzaku no miko had betrayed her trust." Nakago's words were to Soi, but he was looking straight at Suboshi. A malicious smile appeared on his lips as he saw the young boy's horror at hearing the truth.

Suboshi stumbled away from the door in shock. He walked down to the end of the hall, then fled to his room as soon as he was far enough away that he wouldn't be heard.

Yui-sama wasn't raped! She has to be a virgin, or Seiryuu won't accept her as his miko. That's wonderful! I can't wait to tell Yui-sama the good news! But.....what if she decides not to summon Seiryuu after she learns the truth? She and Miaka were best friends before all this happened, and I don't think Yui-sama would be willing to hurt Suzaku no miko if she knew the truth. Miaka.....oh Seiryuu-sama! If Yui-sama wasn't betrayed by Suzaku no miko, then.....then.....what I did was.....

Suboshi paled in horror as he remembered what he had done. He had brutally raped an innocent girl.

Suboshi stared at the cell door for a long time, trying to gather the courage to face Miaka. He didn't know what he could do or say to her.....but he had to do something to try and right the terrible wrong he had committed. Nothing he could do would ever be enough to make it up to Miaka, but Suboshi knew he'd never be able to live with himself if he didn't try.

Suboshi took a deep breath, and entered the cell. Miaka flinched back, clearly terrified of him. Suboshi flinched inwardly as guilt tore him into shreds, knowing that he had caused that fear in a once vivacious and happy-go-lucky girl.....and that that fear was justified. A look of concern and profound sorrow filled his eyes. This seemed to startle Miaka because she blinked in confusion as she looked up at him.

"Nani.....?" Miaka whispered hoarsely.

"Gomen nasai Miaka-sama, gomen nasai. Na.....Nakago told me the truth; that Yui-sama was rescued before those men could rape her.....and that the only reason she believes that you caused her suffering is that Nakago told her that you were to blame. If.....if I had known.....I never would have hurt you like that, or helped to bring you here. Not after I realized that my brother is alive, and happy that he no longer has to fight. Gomen nasai."

Miaka said nothing. The trust that once came so easily to her was long gone, and Suboshi cursed himself once more for destroying an innocent girl. She simply watched Suboshi warily, clearly waiting for the trap to be sprung.

"I've.....I've come to help you. I'll take you away from here. We can go to the village my brother lives in. His family will take us in, and....."

Still Miaka remained silent. She didn't believe Suboshi for an instant.....and Suboshi couldn't blame her. Not after what he had done to her. Suboshi closed his eyes for a moment, trying to summon the courage to continue.

I have to make this right. As impossible as it is, I have to try. The first thing I need to do is get Miaka out of here. She'll be safe from Nakago once we're at my aniki's house. Then I can rescue Yui-sama, and.....iie. Yui-sama would never agree to come. Not when she is so desperate for revenge. And.....as much as I love Yui-sama.....I can't serve her anymore. Not until I know Miaka is safe and starting a new life, one where I know she'll be content at least. Suboshi thought. He hated the idea of leaving Yui-sama, but he knew that he had no choice; his conscious simply would never let him rest as long as Miaka suffered because of him.

"I can see that I'll have to prove to you that I'm telling the truth." Suboshi said sadly.

"I still love Yui-sama, but I can't serve her anymore. Not as long as I know that an innocent person is suffering." he continued softly. As much as it hurt him, he knew that this was the right decision.....the only one he could make.

Suboshi took a good look at Miaka for the first time, and his eyes filled with tears. All that was left of the once irrepressible girl was skin, bones, and the too small bulge of her abdomen that was the only sign that she was four months pregnant with his child. She seemed lost in the blanket he had given her to cover herself with; the tattered remains of her clothes did nothing to cover her or provide warmth. Suboshi picked Miaka up gently and cradled her in his arms as he walked out of the cell.

Suboshi stood in front of Amiboshi's house uneasily.

How am I going to tell Aniki what I've done? I.....maybe I don't have to.....I could just say that I rescued Miaka.....iie. Iie, I have to tell him the truth. It just isn't right to do anything other than tell him the truth; I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I lied to him about this. And he'd know if I didn't. He always knows when I try to hide something from him. Besides, what would I do if I managed to fool him.....only to have Miaka tell him the truth when she wakes up?

Suboshi was still trying to gather his courage when the door opened. A young boy appeared in the doorway, looking startled. The two boys stared at each other for a long moment.

"Sh...shunkaku? Is that really you? And why is Miaka with you? What happened to her?"

"Hai, Aniki, it's me. Miaka.....well, that's a long story. Can we see to Miaka first? I promise I'll tell you everything when she's settled in bed."

"Of course, Shunkaku. I'll show you to the guest room." Koutoku said hurriedly, cursing himself that he allowed the shock of seeing his brother again prevent him from realizing that Miaka needed immediate care.

Amiboshi helped his twin put Miaka in the guest bed. He was shocked and dismayed to see the condition she was in; the emancipated, pain-wracked form on the bed bore little resemblance to the lively girl he thought of as a treasured friend. When Miaka was safely tucked into bed, Amiboshi ran for the village healer.

Suboshi stood beside his aniki, and shrank under the elderly healer's glare. It seemed to him that she could read his mind and see all of the terrible things he did to Miaka. He bowed his head in shame, unable to meet the healer's eyes. Amiboshi gave him an odd look but remained silent as they waited to hear what the healer had to say.

"I don't know how or where you found this girl, but she has been starved and tortured cruelly for a long time. For months by the look of it. Whoever she is, she has her god's favor, because it's a miracle that she is alive today, and even more so that she hasn't miscarried. Are you the father?" she asked in a gravelly voice as she glared at the two boys.

Suboshi stared at his feet, unable to utter so much as a sound. Once again he cursed himself for his part in Miaka's suffering, and prayed silently for the chance to do something.....anything to make it up to her.

"Iie, we aren't, Sanzaki-sensei" Amiboshi told the healer after giving Suboshi another odd look.

The healer nodded in satisfaction.

"Good. If you were, I'd haul you up to the Council of Elders for trial. Now, you must make sure that this girl remains in bed until she has recovered from her injuries completely, okay? If she doesn't she will have a relapse, and that could kill her. Do you understand?"

"Hai." the two boys replied meekly.

The healer nodded, and left the cottage. Suboshi stared after her until she was out of sight.

"A-aniki.....a-about what you said about us not being the fathers....."Suboshi whispered, his head bowed in shame.

"Shunkaku, will you tell me what happened now? Miaka will sleep for several hours with the herbs Sanzaki-sensei gave her." Amiboshi said at the same time.

Amiboshi stared at his twin as he realized what Suboshi said.

"Shunkaku.....are you saying that you're the father?!" he demanded, praying that he had heard wrong.

"Hai.....hai, I am the father.....or at least I hope I am."

"You hope you are? Shunkaku, what happened to Miaka?!"

Suboshi blanched at the protective anger and strained patience he heard in his aniki's voice. Unable to meet Amiboshi's eyes, Suboshi stared at the floor as he spoke in a flat monotone.

"I.....I only wanted revenge for what she had.....what I thought she had done to Yui-s.....Yui. I don't know if you knew, but Yui believes she was raped when she first came to our world. She blames Miaka for what happened because Miaka didn't return to this world for three months.....and when she did, she came only because she wanted to be with Hotohori. That's what Yui thinks, anyway. So when Miaka's seishi were killed by Nakago's troops, I.....I raped Miaka, drained her chi, and helped Nakago capture her. Iie. I was the one who captured her. She was grief-stricken by the loss of her seishi, and in shock over what I did to her.....she was unable to defend herself at all when Nakago ordered me to bring her to the palace."

Amiboshi listened silently as his twin explained what happened to Miaka. His eyes widened in shock and dismay, and he had an uneasy feeling that there was more that Shunkaku hadn't told him yet.

"Is there anything else you haven't told me, Shunkaku?" he asked quietly, trying to hide the disappointment he felt.

Suboshi nodded, still unable to meet his aniki's gaze. Tears of shame filled his eyes, and he brushed them away hastily, hoping that Kotoku wouldn't see them.

"Hai. Aniki, I.....I watched Nakago rape and torture Miaka. Yui and I both did. And.....and we enjoyed it. I enjoyed it! I.....I thought that it served Miaka right because of what she did to Yui. But then.....but then I overheard Nakago talking to Soi. Yui was never raped. Nakago killed the street toughs before they even touched her. Yui must be a virgin for Seiryuu-sama to accept her as a miko.....only a virgin can summon one of the beast gods. So everything that happened to Miaka.....everything that I did to her.....was all for nothing!"

Suboshi was crying openly now. He remembered how proud he had been for taking Miaka's virginity and making it impossible for her to summon Suzaku.....proud because he had caused her so much suffering. Now all he could do was hope that the child Miaka would bear was not Nakago's. More than anything, he wanted to die for his crimes.

Amiboshi was horrified at what his twin had done. More than that, he was ashamed of himself. He was the one who had raised Shunkaku ever since their parents died.....he had promised them that he would always look out for his brother. If there was a part of his twin that was capable of doing such horrible things.....and actually enjoy doing them.....it was because of something that he did or didn't do.

The war did this to Shunkaku. What we saw.....it affected us both. We were so young when our parents died. And Shunkaku was more vulnerable than I was. He didn't even really understand that our parents were dead until several months later. Seeing our village destroyed must have made him more prone to violence than other people. A lot of Kutou-koku's soldiers who lost loved ones in the war at a young age are like that. It's my fault that I didn't see the signs sooner. Maybe if I had.....I could have done something to prevent this from ever happening.

When Kotoku simply stared at him, saying nothing, Suboshi knew that his aniki hated him. Kotoku was so gentle.....how could he feel anything ~but~ hatred for someone capable of doing what he had? Suboshi turned away, preparing to leave.

It's better this way. Aniki will help Miaka. And Miaka isn't going to want the constant reminder of the past several months that my presence will represent. Iie, it'd be better if I just disappear.

"Matte!" Amiboshi called as he saw his twin start to leave.

"Shunkaku.....you did some terrible things, that's true. But it's not entirely your fault."

Suboshi stared at Amiboshi in disbelief, not quite understanding what his aniki was saying.

"Nakago manipulated Yui into turning her back on her best friend by allowing her to believe she was raped and that Miaka had betrayed her, ne?"

"Hai....."

"You were manipulated the same way. Nakago knew you love Yui, and he used that love to persuade you to attack Miaka on Yui's behalf."

"Demo....."

Amiboshi reached over and pulled Suboshi into a hug. Suboshi was so startled by his aniki's actions that he couldn't move. v"I know that you will not forgive yourself easily for your part in this, Shunkaku.....and you shouldn't. But you'll never be able to get on with your life if you don't forgive yourself."

"What.....what can I do, nii-chan?" Suboshi asked in a tiny, pleading voice.

"I know you feel terrible about what you've done, and you do too.....so why don't you prove that to Miaka? If you can earn her forgiveness, I think it will go a long way towards your being able to forgive yourself, ne?" Amiboshi said with a smile.

Suboshi had stopped calling him nii-chan the day their parents died. Hearing that name again awakened memories of a happier time.

"H-hai! I'll do that, nii-chan, I promise!"

Suboshi buried his head in his twin's shoulder and wept for the loss of a vital part of himself. One he would regain only if he somehow managed to earn Miaka's forgiveness. Amiboshi rocked him gently as he played a soothing melody that would soothe Shunkaku's and Miaka's souls, and allow their healing process to finally begin.