Kuusou Saihitei stared out of the window. It was only the fifth day since Miaka had entered his life, but it already felt like an eternity. It seemed like time was running out... the person he had waited for all his life, the one thing that could give him true happiness, seemed to be falling for another... it was too early to tell, yet he felt sure of it. Miaka loved Tamahome, not him. 'There must be some way out,' he thought to himself. He hadn't felt this helpless for a long time, not since his father had died all those years ago... leaving him to be forced into the role of emperor, nothing in his life but duty and responsibility. Then he had read the Universe of the Four Gods, and something inside him had awakened: a glimmer of hope, that there might be something for him other than this life he lead, suffocated and burdened, a caged bird... His glimmer of hope, the Suzaku no Miko, a legend-prophecy that somehow seemed real even back then. This girl, he had known somehow, would save him from his loneliness and despair... the feeling he could never show to anybody, not even his closest advisors. She would be his salvation. He had known this with a certainty, and in his mind as the years past, he built up a picture of her in his mind, until one day he found he was in love with this mysterious young girl. It was hard to admit it to himself, that he was in love with an idea... a fantasy. What was wrong with him? There would be time for this later, when Konan was safe from Kutou he could take the time to choose a princess to make his bride. But he could not wait. The loneliness was suffocating him. He could not survive without something, something *now*, even if it was only in his mind. For the years until Miaka suddenly exploded into his life, he had grown used to his illusion, his imaginary love. Outwardly he projected the confident, self-assured image of the benevolent and just emperor, because that was what his duties demanded of him. He could do no less for his people, because he really did care, and the last thing the country needed was a weak ruler... inwardly though it was a different story. Shown to nobody, he wrestled with doubts about his own competence at such an enormous responsibility, fought with feelings of despair that only his shadow-love could alleviate... Then on that fateful day, an ordinary procession through the marketplace of Konan's capital had turned into something amazing yet terrible. His Suzaku no Miko had arrived. Running alongside him, her innocence shining like sunlight, almost tangibly piercing the gloom inside his palanquin, he had known it was her immediately. Dressed in strange clothing, she could only be the one, the girl he had awaited for all those years. Then she had upset the entourage by pulling some of the finery from the palanquin. The guard had attacked her, but that young man had come from nowhere and in an instant his guards were defeated... his strength had surprised Saihitei, but more than anything he experienced a sudden pang of horror as he watched the man holding the girl in his arms, and... He shook his head and stood up, turning away from the window. Allowing himself a small sigh, he decided to go and finish some administration work that needed his attention. More responsibility. More duty. His heart ached as he thought about her, in this very same building, only a short walk away. After all this time, she was finally real. All he had to do was reach out and touch her... he could look into her eyes, and share his feelings with her. She was... real. He decided he had to tell her his feelings for her. It would probably sound strange to her... a man she barely knew, an emperor he thought bitterly, telling her... he loved her. But he allowed himself hope that she would be able to love him, in time... and then he could be truly free. Smiling, he thought about how he was already bonded to her in an intimate and Holy way... he was her Seishi, her life and death protector. He would give his life to save her, and this gave him the hope he needed to wait until he could get her alone, and then tell her how he felt. It was only a matter of time... But the young man troubled him. Tamahome, was his Seishi name. He had already protected Miaka, and now... he had tried to deny it, the look he saw in her eyes when she looked at him, but it was there. It was only a matter of time, before... He closed his eyes. There was no use in dwelling on what was going to happen. It was written, so it would happen, and there was nothing he could do about it. He could only do his best to charm her... after all, he was very beautiful, he thought bitterly... Then he felt it. Like a cool wave washing over him, soothing his doubts like rain on the parched land, blowing the fears away like a strong wind, his shadow-love. She was real, yet she lived on inside him. It was so strange, this duality he could not deny, and dared less face... this twin existence, fantasy and reality. How he longed that the two were the same, that Miaka was his Suzaku no Miko... Yes, he would tell her, and things would be fine. If he loved her, then nothing else mattered, they could be together forever, entwined in their destinies. She would set him free. Saihitei opened his bedroom door and closed it softly behind him, nodding slightly to the guards outside, and walked down the corridor to his study. Tomorrow... By Dave Clayton "Kuusou" means "fantasy" in japanese.